February is National Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month. Healthy teen relationships start at home. Young people who learn to develop healthy relationships are more likely to continue the pattern of having healthy relationships into adulthood.

As your son or daughter navigates the teen years, relationships with their peers often take priority over family relationships. This is a normal phase of separation from parents and family and the beginning of adult independence. Research shows that the part of the brain responsible for things like using judgment, self control, and emotions are still developing during the teen years. It is especially important for parents and guardians to be patient, supportive, and available to teens

A healthy relationship requires trust, respect, boundaries, and lots of communication. Talking with your young person about the characteristics of good relationships helps them to recognize healthy and unhealthy behavior in themselves and others. By providing accurate and reliable information about what healthy relationships look like, sound like, and feel like, parents and guardians give teens the invaluable tools they need to navigate connections with other people in ways that are enriching and satisfying.  

Even when we don’t realize it, the young people in our lives are watching and listening to us. One of the best ways we can teach teens about healthy relationships is by modeling positive relationships ourselves. As role models in our kid’s lives, we have the opportunity to help them recognize and discuss the full range of emotions that attach people to one another. Without an awareness and understanding of emotions, it is difficult to build or maintain strong, healthy relationships.  Being a role model doesn’t mean we have to be perfect. Share your own experiences and that you’ve made mistakes and learned from them. Real life examples are easier for teens to understand and encourage them to open up about what is going on their lives. Just remember to keep the details to a minimum and maintain boundaries. Stay firmly in the role of parent rather than friend.

Here are a few discussion starters to open up the conversation about healthy relationships with your child:

• What can you say or do to communicate your personal boundaries?

                            Communicating personal boundaries means telling others your expectations and expressing

                             when your boundaries have been crossed.

• What makes a relationship good? What makes it bad? What does respect look like in a relationship?

                            Pay attention to how certain situations make you feel – good and bad – and trust your

                             instincts when you feel disrespected.

• What would you do if you felt uncomfortable, pressured, or threatened in a relationship?

It is NEVER okay for anyone to use pressure, control, or threats in a relationship.

If you ever feel uncomfortable or unsafe in a relationship, you can always talk to me and I will help you.

The National Dating Abuse Helpline is available for confidential help and information. The hotline can be contacted by phone at 1-866-331-9474 or by chat at www.loveisrespect.org.

For more information and resources about Teen Dating Violence and Prevention, you can contact me at

deborah.godbold@suwannee.k12.fl.us or 386-647-4619.